what breaks my heart

What breaks my heart?
People around me living their lives.
They seem to have many friends, success, fortune, and smiles on their faces
But inside what do they have?
Something is lacking.
Yet they make no effort to find whats lacking.
They make no effort to satisfy their need.
They just settle for mediocre, and not search for extraordinary.

What breaks my heart?
Youths wasting their lives away,
Satisfying their instant thoughts,
Just going with the flow, and not caring about their lives.
Letting what’s outside lead their mind, their thoughts, their actions.
Making no choice for their own lives.

What breaks my heart?
People who have what they need set right in front of them.
Yet they cannot see that is the need of their heart.
They cannot see what is their meaning of life,
Buried by the concepts of this world,
And not seeing the preciousness of God.
They know about Him, but don’t know Him.
They do not take time to know Him, and are still not satisfied,
Still seeking, or still settling for okay.

What breaks my heart?
How I cant seem to do anything.
How I can experience the goodness of God, and they cant.
How they don’t even care, but inside they do not know they do care.
How God misses them.

Tell me, how can I just live my life and pretend I don’t see this?
How can I just love God myself and not do something about this?

Lord, I want a change in the lives of many.
I want people to know and experience Your love.
I want many to truly be satisfied.
I want youths to live out their meaning of life.
I want You to do something.
I want to work with You to do something.

Lord, this world needs You!
Every single soul needs to experience You.
May You set them free!
And let them find the satisfaction of their hearts.

-August 13, 2011, after thinking about all the youths that I am trying to help.


I remember in grade 11, we had to write an essay in response to the quotation:
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation"
-Henry David Thoreau.
I remember this quote to this day, because it is so true. And I recently found the very essay that I wrote haha! Here was the conclusion that I wrote way back when I was 17!
We may all lead lives of quiet desperation, and we all deal with it differently. We have a choice of how to deal with it, and how much it can affect us. These choices that we make could fulfill our desperation or it could turn our lives around for the worst. Therefore, our choices are key to how something may turn out, and the outcome of our desperation.
Reading this back, I agree with my 17 year old self. Basically we can either do something about our "desperations" or not do something. It all comes down to our own choice. We are all responsible for our own lives.
And I guess what my frustration recently is that I've met so many youths that choose to do nothing about it. Many youths and people nowadays have no motivation in life. They are lazy, which is reflected in the technology/instant stuff in our society today. Their lives are alright, nothing bad, nothing too wonderful, and they just go on like this.

Why this bothers me so much is that I've been there before. As I said in my previous blog, my life was ordinary, and I didnt mind it. It could be better, but I made no effort to make it better. But now, I look at my life, and wow, what a contrast! I am super glad that the Lord changed me. And to be honest, it DID take effort to get to where I am today, it did take work, I did not just sit around and wait for the Lord to appear to me again and again to change me, but because I was attracted by the beauty of the Lord, and experienced how much happier I was, I made the effort to change myself to cooperate with God.

I just wish now, that many others can see this and not just sit around while their lives passes them by! I really cannot bear to see that, and when I wrote that "rant" to the Lord, I was in tears. I desire that many, especially youths to take action to enjoy all the wonderful goodness that God has prepared for them! All I can do now is pray and testify for God.

The Lord told me not to be discouraged, but He is God, and He is able to do something. And I am sure He will! I just gotta be patient!