Life Lessons

I would have to say that these past two weeks have been a roller coaster ride. But give thanks, that in it all, I learned valuable life lessons. I give thanks for this process and that in this process I can grow and become more mature.

For one thing, I have definitely learned more about myself and my weakness. I am actually way too obedient and do not consider so much in a way of knowing WHY I do certain things and the principle behind it, before I do it.
I just follow and do when I know (or assume) that its right, even if it does not fit me as a person.
I also tend to want to make others feel comfortable or happy, but in return I may have to endure somethings, or do certain things even if I do not quite clearly understand why I do it.

So I discovered, that I quite blindly do certain things. And when I do this, what I do, is not firm or solidified.

This is quite evident in the spiritual things that I practice unfortunately. I tend to improve a lot in the times that I am highly motivated and in a "just do it" mode. But it does not last because I actually dont understand the true principle behind it, even though I may have thought I understood. So when environments change or when I'm just not that motivated anymore, what I practise also dies down.

I give thanks to God for what has happened in order for me to learn this lesson. Now I know how to fix myself. And how to mend some holes in my practises.

I am also glad to say that I have no shadows or accusations! Indeed the God sees all things, and has already prepared me!
Last week God spoke to me and said something like this:
In all that you view as failure, I intend to be a process. And through process it leads to victory.

This actually solved a lot of things in my heart. It solved my fear of failure, of trying to do everything right-it actually gives me a lot of worries. The Lord knows all my needs! There is no failure in God's eyes!
Now we can go shout for joy for such wonderful realization!

P.S.
Yesterday was the sickest that I've ever felt in Vancouver. I went to school but had to go home and laid in bed all day! Thank God that He is healing me and I can go to school today, but please pray for me so I can completely recover! Thanks <3