Unity

The Lord is so good and so passionate to open His heart to us! He wants to set us free and to be the most satisfied!

The Toronto team just came back not so long ago! Their sharings each time impacted my heart and gave me strength and concept changes in my spiritual life and my ministry. I'm still consolidating what I've heard these couple of days, hopefully I will help myself put things together in this blog post :)

The first impact was cell group this week. When I walked in the room, before there were any words, I felt different. The atmosphere seemed lighter than usual and I was so happy to see the Toronto team sisters to be back! They were also so very happy, joy overflowing! When they shared briefly about their trip in about 3-6 sentences each, I was so hungry to know more!
Give thanks that we had some time in my small group for A to share. She shared about how her heart was revived and how God has been step by step revealing different truths for us to step on....was to lead us to this goal: unity in this family.
I was really touched at that point, and my eyes were opened to see that, that was the ultimate goal. Not that I didnt know that was what God wants before, but this time, I just felt like I knew it for sure and I could experience it. I realized that I had been missing the point all along. I had been pretty obedient all my life as a Christian, even in Vancouver, I listened and tried to do what b/s suggested because I knew it was for my benefit. All the trainings and everything I did willingly and tried my best to keep them. However, for me, the reason why I did them was because I wanted to improve, and I knew it was good, so I want to do it.
Not that those reasons are wrong or bad, but now I realize that I've been missing the whole point! The point of improving myself, and using so much effort is not just to improve myself, but I need to be better in order to be normal in God's family. I need to be close to God in order to be one with brothers and sisters. I need to be skillful in spiritual things in order to build up God's family and to edify one another. I really saw the bigger picture! I wanted to cry because I saw what I had been missing all along! But I also wanted to shout for joy because I knew the path ahead is going to be so glorious, I could just feel it!

That night I felt like a burden lifted from my shoulders. I wanted to love my brothers and sisters more. I felt like it was easier to follow up with a young believer when she didn't show up that night. We had a good conversation through text and she opened up about a difficulty she had. I was more brave to give suggestions to her and to encourage her, while before I would be very hesitant to do so, since she is so young in spirit.

On Friday, the team shared about the trip. I was able to get a more comprehensive understanding of what they had experienced. One thing that I felt deeply was: I love this church. I love this family. I was so touched that I can be in this normal family. I give thanks for each brother and sister because well...they are my true brothers and sisters. We can have such a close connection, a spiritual relationship. This family is so beautiful.

Today the team shared again. I was able to go deeper into what they gained and apply it to my life. I realized that I missed the whole point in ministry all along too. Often I am quite task-oriented. If I am instructed to do something, or suggested to follow up with someone I will do it. Even in my own initiative, if I feel like I want a certain sister to be good, I would try to think of ways and pray for them to improve. However, that consumed a lot of my energy, and led me to feel very burdensome to do ministry. I didnt have strength to keep going and would often leave things last minute, or force myself to do something, because I gave myself the obligation to do so. I did all these to see a result in the b/s I was helping. And quite honestly, if I didnt see the result that I expected, then I would get frustrated!
But now I realize that my focus should not be on the result, but it should be on loving that b/s. All things should come from love, not from an expectation, or a standard that I feel that b/s should reach. Love is the greatest ministry, I should love more, that is true ministry. I am now excited and happy to do ministry! I am excited to be a better sister! I want to open up myself more, that is really hard for me, please pray for me in this area!

As I thought about this, I realized why I sometimes feel burden to walk out some anchor points in my lifestyle is because I took it as a task and not as something that I do because of love. I wanted to cry when I realized this not because I was touched, but I felt so bad, its so sad to spend time with someone you love because you "should" do it, and not because you simply love to spend time with them. I never want to treat the Lord as someone I should do a task to. I just want to love Him, and I want to spend time with Him! I feel more free to love the Lord now. I also have more motivation to fix my lifestyle and spiritual life with Him!

Revival is here brothers and sisters! I am so excited for the days ahead! I am excited to love more and excited to improve together with brothers and sisters! I want to be strengthened in my spirit and body to support this revival!! I am also excited for the Lord! He has been waiting for us to see this for sooo long! He just wants us to be a happy family, now we can walk towards this wonderful direction! WOOHOO!!

P.S. I had been meaning to write a blogpost about "unconditional friendship" in this family, since last year! I never got around to it, but give thanks that the Lord gave me even deeper insight through the Toronto team b/s in this area. We do not only have unconditional friendship, but we are TRUE BROTHERS AND SISTERS!