Dilemma

So. Heres the situation....

There is going to be a big gathering of all the districts in HK during New Years. Our Africa team is passing through HK to go to Cape Town, and we were thinking that maybe we can drop by HK earlier, to join the meeting also. It will be a great chance to share to all the b/s in HK about Love Your Neighbour Club, and our missionary teams.

On the other hand, my parents are going to come in the middle of January to visit me. I havent seen them since September, and if I go to HK early, I would completely miss their visit.
(not to mention M's visit, whom I really want to meet!)

I had a huge struggle about this.
I really really want to go to HK to join the big gathering. Ever since I visited HK in the spring, I have had a burden for HK b/s. From my visit, I sensed that they needed encouragement, or "something" to give them motivation or drive for God's will. I have been praying for revival in HK almost everyday since my visit, because there are so many b/s in HK, and they are full of talent. If they could all see clear, God's will, and see the vision, they will be very impactful, not only to this movement, but also to Asia and ultimately the whole world.

At the same time, If I really do go to HK, I would have to miss seeing my parents before going to South Africa. I miss them terribly, and I do admit, I am a bit homesick. I want to spend time with them since during January, I would have no school, and my time would be more free for them. I also want our whole family to pursue together in Vancouver. To soak up all the wonderful truth and practise what I have been learning in Vancouver. This will greatly impact their spirit, and it will influence them and the people around them. It will help me as well. I really treasure that my parents are Christians in this church, and I really desire for a chance to pursue God together with them, to be a glorious family for God.

So what do I choose? I asked the Lord. I cried before Him because it was so hard. Then I remembered a message meeting all the way back in 2008...when I first moved to Vancouver. It was about when Jesus called for disciples of His, and they forsook their most treasured relationships to follow the Lord. One passage that we read that night was Luke 14: 25-28:
"And great multitudes went with Him. And He turned to them and said to them, "If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. "And whoever does not bear his cross, and come after Me cannot be My disciple. "For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it-"
Please note that in this passage, Jesus is NOT telling us that we have to hate our parents, spouse, family and our own life. He is basically asking us, well me, if I am willing to forsake what is most important to me, the deepest relationships, to follow Him and do His work.
I remember V asking us, what do you desire? Do you desire the Lord? Renew your desire to the Lord.
I remember A sharing about this message one week after, with her son Z. She shared that she really thought about it, and asked herself if she would give up her son to follow the Lord. It was obviously very hard to do, and the very thought of it gave her tears, and she also shared with tears. However, she really told the Lord that she would be willing to give up Z to be the Lord's disciple. Coincidentally, they are in Cape Town right now...
However, what touched me most, was in the message I realized that God Himself had given up everything for me first. He gave up His all for ME! Abba Himself, forsook His only begotten Son. The Lord left His Father and came to give His life. This was all to gain me.
How can I not give up for the Lord whatever I can, to gain Him?

I thought about this, and I remembered that I wrote a poem to the Lord that night. Here it is:
Lord, I desire to be Your true disciple.
Your true friend, Your companion, Your lover.
I want to share all with You and You only.
Because You have gave Your all to me.
You gave Your all to gain me. This is greater than all.
Because You love me with Your entire heart.
I am the only one in Your heart. Lily among the thorns.
Lord, I desire to give my whole heart to You.
Let every part of my heart belong to You.
Let me forsake all things to have a heart that is purely for You and You only.
Help me to forsake the dearest in my heart for You. For you have done this first for me.
I want You to have my entire heart.
I want You to take my entire life.
I want You to be the only one I love.
The only one I seek. The only one in my heart.
Lord, You are worthy. You deserve my life to love You only.


So, the decision was clear to me. I want to go to HK to share with b/s God's great work. I want to co-work with the Lord not only in Cape Town, but also Hong Kong. I know that HK is facing a lot of difficulty right now, and I believe that the sisters and I will encourage the b/s there greatly. We will become a great support to the church. I want the church to see the vision and take up the task. We are about to break loose and influence the whole world! I want HK b/s to take part, the Lord has His personal love to them.
As for my parents, I will see them after Cape Town and meet them in HK. It is not that I have completely given up on them. I hope that during our days in HK, we can pursue together, and co-work together to do God's work.

And now it has finally hit me....I AM GOING TO LEAVE ON THIS MISSIONARY TRIP IN LESS THAN ONE MONTH?!? What! I need to majorly train up myself!

Ya, so pray for me and the whole team. I hope our days will be glorious in HK and prosperous in Cape Town!

OH and pray for my Finals as well! I need major prayers!!! Gosh, I am truly running out of time! SO ya, please pray for me to pass with flying colors! As always, especially with organic chem! I need at least a C-!

K now go pray!