decisions

Anyone who knows me knows that I am terrible with decisions! I am such an undecisive person. Seriously, I take forever to decide what I am going to order when I go out to eat, and even when I shop, I take so long to decide if I am really going to make a purchase or not. I guess I like to have confirmation in what I do, and I like to be sure of things. Guess that I also have a fear of failure since I am kind of a perfectionist. Wow why am I openning up myself so much here...

Life is full of decisions, and I am so glad that I have the Lord to ask when I need to decide on something, or else it will very well drive me crazy!

Right now, I have lots on my mind. Mostly about my future. Particularity next year. And that is why I cannot concentrate and study and why I am not sleeping right now even though its past my bedtime.

First of all, I need to decide when I am ever going to graduate! Face it, I have been in school for 18 years of my life now. And I have been in university for officially 3 years! I am for sure going to take more than 4 years to graduate, I guess thats typical, especially for SFU, but seriously...I want to get out of school, and I believe that I want to take some more specified courses after I graduate to get certain certificates. Thats a lot of school man. I dont want to be still schooling when I am 25...

Second, I am trying to figure out what career path I want. I am a little more than half-way done with my HSCI degree and a couple more courses till I'm done my KIN minor and my two certificates along with it. But I dont exactly know what I want to do yet. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I want to go into social work, it has always been something that interests me. I figured that being a fitness consultant or some kind of therapist (sports related) is kind of like that too, but it just focuses more on the physical/biological side of things rather than psychological/emotional side. Either way, I just want to help others.
Today in class we talked about Palliative care (relieving patients of pain/suffering and improving quality of life at an end-of-life time period). This really interested me and I was actually paying attention and pretty into it. It focuses on caring for the patient at an individual level, with communication and care. We discussed about this and I was thinking and also whispering to T-that this is kind of based on the same principle when we went to Africa...that we couldnt really do anything about the situation of the people living there, but we were able to give them love and care. This makes a huge difference in their life! If I go into this field, I hope to also gain many souls back to God before these people die.
However, I see the down side of this too. I would have to see many people die, people whom I communicate and bond with as part of my job. I also realized after thinking about this, that palliative care may be only available for people who can afford it. And people who are in it, are probably the ones who feel they need it. What about the people who are really in need of love and care, but deny it and just die away?
Anyways, this is getting really deep, and it is just one more possible career path that I might want to look into. *sigh* so many choices...

Third, I am deciding if I should go on another missionary trip next year. I really want to go to Madagascar. Its a place that I told the Lord I wanted to go to after I went to South Africa. I believe after going to South Africa, I can handle going to Madagascar. However if I do go on this trip, I might have to take a semester off which may delay my graduation for sure. I could also take online courses or intersession courses and still go on this trip, but I dont really want to distract myself from the work there with school, or do bad in school because I'll be too focused on the work there. Or I can do another coop term overseas and gain some funding through that. I just dont really know what to do!!

So dears, I have a lot to inquire about with the Lord. I need to ask Him and wait on Him. I would very much appreciate it if you could pray for me too! Thanks, and I am sure the Lord will show me the right way at the appropriate time!

For now, I need to focus on my studies. Finals are coming up quick and I am in no way prepared! I need prayers for this also!

Wow I feel like I always ask for prayer requests hehe. Feel free to let me know if theres anything that you want me to pray for you!

Love you all who pray for me!! <3